


No waifu, no laifu

by NCTaengel



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Their love is so pure, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, idk how to tag help i haven't written in so long, little bit of crack, renjun is best friends with jaemin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-08-06 02:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCTaengel/pseuds/NCTaengel
Summary: I tried to tell you to send pie, but it autocorrected to senpai and now you think I have feelings for you (that’s not a bad thing).Alternatively, Jaemin is a weeb in love.





	1. I ran into an angel (literally)

**Author's Note:**

> HI sO I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 90 MILLION YEARS But I'm back :D  
> So yeah while I died I got into kpop, and so here we are! Also please note that I'm Canadian, so any variables such as currency and school start time, for example, will be like that of Canada. Also, I kinda wrote this when I had a lot of free time, so updates may not be consistent. I'll try to update whenever I can or weekly, at least. Happy reading!

Jaemin had never really thought about being in a relationship. As a seventh grader, the topic was prevalent. Sure, he had liked a few people here and there, but looking back, maybe not really. Jaemin liked being single. Nobody to deal with, and more money to spend on yourself. Jaemin had always focused on his passions, which may or may not have _happened_ to include liking anime. Yes, Jaemin was a weeaboo. Or, as he preferred to say, an _otaku_. He was cultured, thank you very much. Fangirling over some hot fictional character was part of his everyday life. It may as well have been what he did for a living. Yeah, Jaemin only liked fictional people. Not live people. Live interaction was scary for an introvert such as him.

Which brings us to now. Now, Jaemin was in grade ten. It was a Sunday night, and Jaemin was staying up. Not that it was a big deal. Just something he did just about every night. Yeah, this was fine.

* _ping!_ *

“Who’s texting me now? It’s 3 am, that’s late.” Jaemin wondered.

_Message from Injunnie~_

Injunnie: Jaemin! Come with me to anime club!!

Me: Y are u txting me @ 3 in the morning? Go 2 sleeeeep

Injunnie: SAYS U >:(

Me: shush

Injunnie: COME WITH MEEEEEEEE

Me: but whyyyyyyyyyyy

Injunnie: bc there might be a cute guy there ;)

Me: but,,, soCIAL INTERACTION D:

Injunnie: But anime club >:(((

Me: Fineeeee  
Me: Now shoo, I need to sleep.

Injunnie: Good night!!

  
Jaemin, in fact, did not go to sleep. Instead, he stayed up until 5 before going to school the next day.

“Ugh, gross. I think if I hear my alarm tomorrow I’ll just crawl into a cave and die there.”

As a matter of fact, the next morning, Jaemin did not hear his alarm. By the time Jaemin woke up, he was already fifteen minutes late to class.

“Oh crap, I’m late to class!”

…

“Oh well, at least I didn’t have to hear my alarm.”

 

Jaemin rushed to get dressed, but of course this wasn’t going to go as planned. Jaemin had _planned_ to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush his teeth, and wash his face. What really happened was that Jaemin couldn’t find any matching socks, burnt the toast, _and_ spilled water all over the sink counter. You would think that it couldn’t be any worse, but to top it all off, he had poked his own eye while rapidly washing his face with freezing cold water.

Eventually, Jaemin managed to get out of the house, but not before missing another 20 minutes of class. Of course this is the one day the bus was delayed too, and by this time Jaemin was really done with the universe, so he just ran to school, in the chilly October weather.

Once Jaemin got there, his class had already ended, and everybody was transitioning between first and second period classes. By then, there was only a minute left before class started, and Jaemin’s class was on the second floor. Jaemin sprinted up the stairs, and was completely breathless as he attempted to run to class. Emphasis on _attempted._

_Bam!_

“Oh crap I’m so sorry but-” Jaemin started to apologize.

And then Jaemin heard the voice of an angel.

“Are you okay?” asked the voice.

When Jaemin had finally come to his senses enough to register the other person’s voice, he was at a loss for words. Then promptly screamed as he looked up.

“Holy crap I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to ram into you I’m just super late and my teachers are gonna kill me if I don’t get to class oh my gosh I’m just rambling now please forget this ever happened-” Jaemin babbled.

But then the angel spoke and Jaemin instantly shut up.

“Hey no, that’s fine, I understand. Here, let me help you.” interrupted the other person, while picking up all of Jaemin’s papers and books before handing it to Jaemin.

Jaemin just stared in awe as the other person dumbly stood there waiting for Jaemin to take back the neat stack of papers and books. Jaemin continued to stare unintelligently.

“Um..”

“Oh! Thank you so much, I really need to get to class! I’ll buy you a meal sometime as a thank you if you’d like?” Jaemin gushed.

“No need, this isn’t a huge favour or anything.” replied the angel. “If anything, you should get to class now.” said the angel as he started to walk away.

“What about you? Don’t you have class too? Oh my gosh I’m so sorry if I made you late!”

“Don’t worry about it, like I said, get to class. Besides, I have a spare.”

Jaemin internally groaned. Of course this attractive person just had to have a spare when Jaemin had to go to class. Just as the other person finally started to go away, Jaemin had to make a fool out of himself like an idiot.

“Wait! What’s your name then?” Jaemin blurted embarrassingly.

The figure looked over their shoulder before giving Jaemin an answer.

“Jeno.”

 

As soon as Jeno left, Jaemin went to class and immediately texted his friend, Renjun.

Me: OMG RNJUN YOU WILL NOT BELEIEV WHAT JUST AHPPEND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank much for read!1!!  
> Fangirl/fanboy with me:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


	2. the universe and my emotions are my enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Okay so by now you've probably figured out that updates aren't consistent here, welcome to me. I also realized that the first chapter makes it seem really boring and cliche, so hopefully this chapter kind of makes up for it, because it's still pretty cliche. Enjoy (or don't) this chapter! :D

Me: OMG RNJUN YOU WILL NOT BELEIEV WHAT JUST AHPPEND

Injunnie: Would u like 2 elaborate on wat just happened? I am confusion.

Me: AN ANGEL CAME DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND SPOKE TO MEEEEE

Injunnie: Who is this angel u speak of

Me: JENO

“Is there something you’d like to share with the class Jaemin?”

Jaemin was not very inconspicuous, so needless to say, he was startled.

“N-no miss! Absolutely not!”

“See to it that your phone gets put away, then.” said his teacher in a stern voice.

Jaemin hurried to text Renjun and put his phone away.

Injunnie: Idk him lol

Me: D: I have to go

Injunnie: Talk @ lunch ok

Injunnie: Actually, that’s not a request. U better talk hoe

Jaemin sat through the rest off his class, dazing off. At one point, he was thinking about when his anime would update, each week a new episode was added, however, whatever he thought about would always lead back to Jeno. He tried to get his mind off the boy, but it was virtually impossible. He went back to thinking about anime in an attempt to get Jeno out of his thoughts.

 _Anime, anime… oh right! I have anime club today._  thought Jaemin.

Just with that thought, time seemed to pass impossibly slow for Jaemin. He didn’t understand why lunch was so far away, or why class was so unnecessarily long. Jaemin sighed. He started thinking about Jeno’s voice, and his _shoulders_. Jeno’s shoulders were so wide compared to Jaemin’s. Jaemin wondered what it would be like to be hugged by Jeno, feeling small and encompassed by Jeno’s arms.

_Snap out of it Jaemin! He doesn’t like you like that, especially after how he just walked away after helping. Besides, Jeno was just being nice. He probably helps everybody like that. I’m not a special case. Yeah, he doesn’t like a weeb like you._

After what seemed like ages, and after Jaemin had spent an eternity on autopilot, the bell _finally_ rang for lunch. Lunch. Bless the person who had thought of lunch breaks. Yes, it may be for the teachers, but lunch time was free time, and Jaemin was _here_ for it.

Jaemin quickly dashed down the two flights of stairs that stood between him and his precious food, in an attempt to beat the crowded hallways and stairwell. After racing literally the whole school down the stairs to the cafeteria, Jaemin swiftly located Renjun.

“Jaemin! Over here!”

“Okay, I’ll be right there!”

Jaemin made his way across the cafeteria, but alas, he tripped right before he made it to where Renjun was sitting. And what kind of universe would this be if not a cruel one; he had landed in front of Renjun, but right before Renjun was of course Jeno. Damn. But of course Jaemin wouldn’t know that, because as soon as he realized what had happened, he fell into a ninety degree bow to apologise. He didn’t dare to look at the person he might’ve accidentally fell face-first into.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching my surroundings and I tripped and fell, I swear it was an accident-”

Jaemin was cut off by the angel.

“Don’t you think you’ve been apologizing too many times already?” Jeno teased with a smirk.

Jaemin’s eyes shot open at the voice, before he straightened his spine so fast Renjun was scared he would get whiplash.

Once again, Jaemin was dumbfounded and tongue-tied.

“It’s fine, I’ve got a backup shirt. Don’t worry about it.” reassured Jeno, voice calming and soothing. It was music to Jaemin’s ears. Call him a hopeless romantic, but with Jaemin, what you see is what you get.

Jeno started walking away again, while Jaemin’s thoughts were interrupted by evil laughter. Or so he thought. In reality, it was just Renjun.

“Oh my god, you’re so whipped!” Renjun blurted out, trying to contain his laughter, attempt unsuccessful.

“Shut up.” came Jaemin’s weak reply.

“You know, you should probably go and help him clean up, it’s not really good to just spill a drink on someone and not help them clean up.” coaxed Renjun. He had some.. alternative motives in mind, but Jaemin didn’t need to know that.

Jaemin, being Jaemin, took the bait and shot up, halfway across the cafeteria to grab napkins before Renjun could even continue. The brat can’t even clean up his spilled lunch before leaving, that annoying itchy sweater of a person he is. Best friend his ass.

Jaemin ran to the locker rooms so fast he thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest. But now he wasn’t sure if it was from the running or the sight in front of him. Right as Jaemin burst into the locker rooms, the universe had decided he has suffered enough for one day and blessed his eyes with an otherworldly sight.

Jeno’s toned back muscles were a sight to behold, and Jaemin could feel his knees turn weak. But just a little bit. Jaemin was fine. Probably.

“Um… hi?”

By the time Jaemin had registered what was happening, his brain short circuited and he only had time to run out of the room red-faced, but not before he threw the napkins at Jeno, screaming the whole time.

How embarrassing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it to the end, I wrote this over the course of an hour so I understand if you think the plot is boring. But yeah, come scream with me:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


	3. feelings are a disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Chapter 3 is here! I spent a while writing this one, the only chapter with over 1k words rip. I probably won't update for a while after this, because I started this chapter right after I posted the last one. Oh whale. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

By the time lunch was over, Jaemin was still thinking about what had happened earlier. He was a very bright shade of red by this point, or at least that’s what he was imagining. What Jaemin didn’t know was that he was even redder than he thought. And that Jeno was just as red, if not redder than Jaemin. So really, he had nothing to worry about.

 _Ugh, I can’t believe I did that! Why can’t you just be normal for once? Betrayed by my last brain cell._ Jaemin thought.

Jaemin went through the rest of his day like that, constantly replaying that moment in his head.  
By the time school was over, Jaemin had nearly forgotten that anime club even existed, but Renjun was actually helpful for once, and gave him a not-so-gentle reminder about the club. Jaemin was thankful for the distraction. He needed help. They made their way to the room where club meetings were being held and waited for a few minutes for everybody else to show up. They were a bit early, but there was no harm done with that.

Then it happened.

 _He_ walked in. Jeno.

Jaemin nearly choked on his spit while attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. Who would’ve believed that Jeno was a weeb as well? Just as Jeno was about to make eye contact with him, Jaemin quickly looked away. He couldn’t face the person he had inconvenienced so many times in one day.

Just then, the club’s president decided that there were enough people in the room. The first thing that Jaemin noticed about the president was that the club’s president had neon green hair, like he had bleached his hair with a lime, then colored it with a highlighter. The second thing that Jaemin noticed was his height. He was short. The boy moved to the front of the classroom before grabbing a nearby chair and standing on it. He then proceeded to scream the whole introduction to the club, but not before singing the opening theme of Tokyo Ghoul.

“OSHIETE OSHIETE BOKU NO NAKA NI DARE KA IRU NO?”  
“Okay so now that the club’s anthem is over, I’m Chenle, I’m in grade nine, and I’m a hardcore weeaboo, or as I like to say, _otaku_.” Chenle introduced.

Jaemin nearly screamed, but he couldn’t lose what was left of his dignity in front of Jeno, so he just settled for a high-pitched squeak instead. Jaemin took a deep breath and proceeded to scream his opinion while standing, in a pitch similar to Chenle’s.

“FINALLY SOMEBODY WHO AGREES WITH ME, IT’S OTAKUS NOT WEEABOOS, LIKE, GET IT RIGHT Y’ALL!”

“YES THERE’S A SOLID DIFFERENCE!”

To everybody who went deaf after Chenle’s intro, this bewildering exchange nearly broke the necks of their brain cells, because it had changed directions and topics so quickly. It was quite disorienting to everybody who couldn’t keep up.

By the time Chenle and Jaemin had finished their heated discussion about why people can’t just use the term otaku, everybody else was silent. Chenle awkwardly made eye contact with Jaemin before rapidly looking at the rest of the people in the room. He cleared his throat, and continued to explain how the club would work, and what activities they would do. Jaemin quietly and stiffly took a seat, seeing as how everybody had their attention on Chenle already. Chenle hastily explained what they were doing; guess the anime opening. Oh they were all in for it. This game was what Jaemin had tons of experience in. His specialty. Jaemin internally cackled.

The first song was the Yuri on Ice opening theme, History maker. Nearly everybody in the room screamed the song at the top of their lungs with the power and ferocity of a thousand gay dolphins.

“DON’T STOP US NOW, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH, WE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORYYYYYYYY!”

As the game went on, harder and less common openings appeared. When the opening theme for Ouran High School Host Club came on, only about half of the club’s members knew the words. The opening theme for Maid-sama appeared, and not even half had heard of the anime, let alone the theme song.

At one point, Jaemin and Chenle were the only ones singing along. He thought he was singing alone. By the time the theme for Cardcaptor Sakura showed up, Jaemin _was_ the only one singing. He put his whole heart and soul into it, belting out the words as if a whale were about to eat him.

“KO - I - SHI - TE - RU!” Jaemin screeched.

“....Wow Jaemin who are you confessing to?” mocked Renjun.

Jaemin realized the meaning of the words just a second too late. When he finally processed it, he crouched down and gave a muffled scream. Everybody including Jeno was oblivious of the meaning, so Jaemin was thankful for _that_ at least. There was an uncomfortable silence-well, minus the game’s video- in the room before Chenle resumed singing to the next theme.

Renjun slides up to Jaemin before discreetly hinting,

“Don’t tell me you’re cheating on him already.”

“RENJUN! We’re not even together; how could I be cheating on him?” Jaemin whisper-yells.

“I dunno man, seems like you were really into the song back there.”

“Shut up, I don’t like the anime character like I..” Jaemin started to say, before trailing off with the start of a very important realization.

“Like you…?”

Two minutes later, Jaemin is currently having a revelation.  
_Like I like Jeno._ He realized. That was what he had been trying to articulate. He knew before, of course, but he was still in denial up until this point. Jaemin briskly looked around the room to make sure nobody was watching before turning to his best friend for help.

“Renjun you have to help me!”

Now, Renjun already had an idea of what this was going to be about. He could tell the second he saw Jaemin looking at Jeno, that he was crushing. But for the sake of Jaemin’s sanity, he played along like he didn’t know anyway. Believe when Renjun says that he’ll have a lot of material for the wedding speech.

“What’s wrong Jaemin?”

“I.. realized something.”

“Care to elaborate?” replied Renjun when he noticed Jaemin wasn’t talking. _Sigh._

“Come outside with me, I need to tell you something.”

The pair quietly left the classroom before walking down the hallway and outside the building before Jaemin finally turned to face Renjun. He turned around with such a serious look that Renjun was a little bit afraid that Jaemin was confessing to _him._ This couldn’t happen, not when his ship hadn’t even sailed yet.

“I like Jeno.” declared Jaemin, with complete confidence in his statement.

“..It took you that long?”

“YOU KNEW?” shrieked Jaemin. He was not ready for his own feelings, let alone the fact that his best friend was a psychic. It was like Renjun read his mind. Right?

“Well, yeah, I mean you aren’t the best at hiding that look on your face.”

“..I can’t believe that my best friend, _who is the most single person I know_ , knew that I liked someone before _I_ knew. Wow.”

“Hey! I just happen to like being single okay? Besides, you’re single too!” protested Renjun.

“Touché.”

“But not for long.” Renjun added knowingly.

Jaemin just hid his face before deciding that they had spent too much time outside already. He started to drag Renjun back inside. Renjun started to mumble something under his breath, something that suspiciously sounded like “Wow, if this is what you sign up for when you catch feelings for someone, then feelings must be a disease. Glad I’m not him.”

Maybe Jaemin, too in love with Jeno to care, ignored Renjun. He never did that. By this time, he would have slapped Renjun. This thing called feelings was turning him soft. Maybe they _are_ a disease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Come talk to me:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


	4. My future job is to be a human fire alarm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um thanks for reading if you still keep up, I'm the worst with consistent updating hands down. Also note that this hasn't really been beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes that may be present!! I just read it myself until I'm tired of it lol.

The friends went back upstairs, although Jaemin was starting to reconsider letting Renjun have the title of ‘best friend’. One more incident and Renjun would have his best friend entitlement to his love life  _ revoked. _ He then went and told Renjun his exact thought process.

 

“Renjun, you say stuff like that one more time, and you’re cancelled.” Jaemin declared.

 

“..And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” questioned Renjun.

 

“It  _ means  _ that I’m going to remove your best friend privileges if you don’t shut up!”

 

“Who said we were friends, let alone besties, you and your minus two brain cells probably were so dead that you were delusional.” Renjun quipped back.

 

“Wow, Renjun why would you do this to me? I feel attacked.” whined Jaemin.

 

“Good.” came the reply. Sometimes, Jaemin really hated Renjun. This was one of those times.

 

When the duo re-entered the classroom, the game was already over and they had started a new game. The game the club was currently playing was anime charades, another one of Jaemin’s favourites. Just as they went to sit down, Chenle noticed them coming back in and called Jaemin up to play. 

 

“Jaemin! Come join us, we still need another person to play this character!”

 

Jaemin went to the front of the classroom, where he noticed that Jeno was sitting.  Alone.  _ What exactly did Chenle mean when he said join us?  _ Jaemin thought. He rubbed his eyes just to make sure. He looked again. Without a doubt, Jeno was still sitting there, by himself. He repeated this a few times.

 

“Jaemin why are your eyes so itchy just start omg!!” demanded Chenle.

 

It took Jaemin a second to realize that, one, he was just standing there in front of his  _ crush _ , looking like a crackhead, and two, that Chenle really just said omg out loud, in real life. Omg as in the abbreviation. He snapped out of it and settled down in the chair next to Jeno.

 

“Okay,” Chenle announced, “you two are going to act out this scene, except the thing is, we’re not going to try and guess this time because it’s just not as iconic and harder to guess.” he said as he gave a shrug.

 

“So what are we actually doing? Are we just acting this out for your own entertainment?” questioned Jeno.

 

“Maybe..” Chenle trailed off.

 

Jeno gave up trying to protest right there. Jaemin wanted to protest, but both himself and Renjun knew better. Little did they know, Chenle had picked up on this connection too. As they started to read through the scene, Chenle sidled up to Renjun and told him what he knew so far.

As far as Renjun was concerned, he was completely correct.

 

As soon as Chenle’s suspicions were confirmed, he turned his attention back to the two ignorant lovers.  _ Like, they are totally meant to be!  _ thought Chenle.  _ Jeno just doesn’t know it yet.  _ The two had started reading their lines and it was starting to get to the good part, but maybe it was only good to him. Also, the part they were acting out might possibly not actually be part of an anime, and just part of an awkward love scenario Chenle wrote at two in the morning.  _ Possibly. _

 

“Anyway, please start! The setting is the house of a girl’s boyfriend, whose parents refuse to let her meet him.” Chenle explained.

 

“Jaemin, you be the girl, Jeno can be the boyfriend’s father.” he elaborated. The two actors nodded and began reading.

 

“Please, tell me why you’re doing this?” Jaemin started. He was actually quite good at acting, but wouldn’t be for long, not with Chenle’s handiwork.

 

“I’m sorry, you can’t be seeing him anymore.”

 

“Why are you saying that? Doesn’t he love me?” Jaemin demanded, completely in character.

 

At this point, Jaemin was starting to get a little bit flustered. He didn’t understand how Jeno could be so composed. Then again,  _ he  _ was the one with the problem. His mind started drifting off to Jeno again, before Jeno’s voice reminded him he was in the middle of a scene. But he still wasn’t completely there, mind sidetracked to his crush.

 

“Of course he does, it’s just that…”

 

“It’s just what? Stop putting it off and just give me the naked boy!” Jaemin shouted. He had been so caught up in his character’s role that he had stopped reading, and screamed exactly what he saw. Or what he thought he saw anyway. He broke character to look to the audience, where he was met with pin-drop silence. Then a giggle broke out and cracked the silence. 

 

“Damn Jaemin, already? I feel so single now, time to go get into a relationship!” Renjun crowed.

 

Just then, Jeno decided that he was done being flustered and joined in magnifying Jaemin’s personal nightmare.

 

“Wow, I just feel so  _ loved,  _ you know?”

 

“Don’t you mean naked truth?” Chenle asked with a smirk on his face.

 

Right there, in that exact moment was where Jaemin decided that he would go buy a personal cave and have a campout by himself. Permanently. Did he really just say that? He could’ve sworn that was what the text said. Once he had finally quit the mental breakdown club, whose members consisted of him only, he reread the script he had been given. 

 

_ Damn,  _ Jaemin thought.  _ It really DID say naked truth. _

 

There was a questionable noise that sounded like a harpy. Or maybe a fire alarm. 

 

“IS THAT THE FIRE ALARM? EVERYBODY EVACUATE!” Chenle screeched.

 

Nobody knew where it came from. Renjun located the source of the noise and quickly realized it was coming from his best friend, who was currently crouching in the fetal position. He made a public service announcement just in case anybody couldn’t tell yet.

 

“False alarm, it was just Jaemin, you guys can all stop running for your lives.”

 

However, the screeching didn’t stop. It took Jaemin another five whole minutes to realize that he was screaming, and then another two to stop screaming. It had been nearly ten whole minutes before Jaemin got up and stopped whatever mental images he had been having.  It was one of those things where he would be thinking about for the next fifty years before going to bed. He could tell he wasn’t sleeping tonight. But neither was anybody else so whatever.

 

“Anyway, after that impromptu confession, let’s watch Fairy Tail!”

 

Everybody else nodded in agreement.

 

Thank God for anime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please leave kudos, or maybe a comment if you enjoyed it!!  
> Come bust an UWU with me:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


	5. you're suffering? No, I'M suffering.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled:  
> If I have to suffer, so do you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOW SO I'M BACK AGAIN! I think this is probably a great comeback message, considering I have a comeback less often than I should LMAO  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I made it 2k to make up for not posting last week. If you like it, please leave comments or kudos, happy reading!
> 
> Note: This hasn't been beta read, so forgive any mistakes, feel free to let me know!

While everybody else was busy screaming about their favourite ships, Jaemin couldn’t help but think that his own ship was sinking faster than the titanic with the added weight of an elephant or two. It wasn’t fair. Jeno was always looking so exquisite compared to him, and he could literally slap Jaemin across the face and Jaemin would willingly let him. Around Jeno, Jaemin seemed to constantly look like he had either thrown up recently or like somebody paused a video of his face at the wrong moment. If only he knew what Jeno thought.

 

“Renjun, do you ever wonder what Jeno thinks of you?” Jaemin whispered.

 

“Absolutely!” replied Renjun.

 

“REALLY?”

 

“No, of course not. The only person who would even think that is you. And possibly all fifty-two of Jeno’s _other_ fans.”

 

At this, Jaemin sulked. Just a little bit. He had competition now. Who was he kidding, _now_ ? Jeno probably _always_ had fans, even when he was just a clueless fetus. Jaemin sulked even more. Renjun seemed to sense this, because the next words out of his mouth were something along the lines of:

 

“Jaemin will you stop sulking for two seconds! I can nearly guarantee that Jeno does not hate you or think you’re disgusting or whatever, because he _literally keeps staring like a fool_.”

 

Jaemin brought his head up so fast that even a cheetah couldn’t keep up with his head’s speed.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

In that moment, exactly one thought was running through Renjun’s head. _You know what? I’m not dealing with this anymore._

 

“You know what? I’m not dealing with this anymore.” deadpanned Renjun.

 

He grabbed Jaemin by the collar and Jeno by his sleeve and threw them outside the classroom. He silently closed the door behind them, before turning to everybody’s favourite frustratingly pining couple. They both had a confused look on their faces, turning to each other before looking away resembling tomatoes. _My point exactly._ He took a deep breath before verbally smacking the two into the next century.

 

“You guys need to get this mess that we call ‘nomin’ sorted out, because _clearly_ you two know nothing about each other, other than the fact that you both make each other a bigger mess than Jaemin already is.” Renjun let out in one breath.

 

 _WOW this is satisfying, I should do this more often._ he thought, preparing to make his final move. He then linked both of their hands and began stepping backwards, _very, very slowly._

 

“Now, you guys go and figure this out yourselves, I’ve got an anime to watch. You’re not getting back in here until you guys are done pining, or at the very least, talk about it. Renjun out.”

 

He threw them a quick peace sign before slamming the door and locking it. Jeno rushed to the door, but it was too late.

 

Jaemin quickly threw his hands up in protest, about to yell at Renjun before finally realizing that he and Jeno were still holding hands. He then attempted to cover his face, but Jaemin in his flurry of fluster had already forgotten they were holding hands. Then he felt something that wasn’t supposed to be on his face. He looked from behind his hands, and lo and behold, it was _Jeno’s hand, still connected to his own hand._

Jaemin gave a loud yelp before thrashing his hand away from Jeno.

 

Jeno just looked at him, face tinted red. Neither of them wanted to talk, so it ended up being two minutes of dead silence before a sound was heard between the two of them.

 

Well then.

 

On the other side of the door, it had gone silent. Everybody was staring at Renjun when he strolled back into the room.

 

“What just happened?” asked Chenle.

 

“Oh, I just took out the trash.” answered Renjun.

 

On the other side of the door, the two not-yet-boyfriends were sent into a gay panic. It had been at least five minutes since Renjun had locked them out. Five minutes doesn’t sound like a long time, but mind you, Jaemin couldn’t even hold _eye contact_ with someone for more than five seconds, let alone a conversation for five minutes. Right then, Renjun popped his head outside of the room to remind them that nothing was happening.

 

“Come on, loverboys! You’re not getting back in until I hear something!”

 

With that, the door closed again.

 

Then they heard a muffled “I don’t hear anything! Looks like Jaemin’s homework is going out the window!”

 

Now, Jaemin knew that homework was important, but as of now, the next time he would be opening up would be at his funeral.

 

“Jaemin, your bag is also dropping out, like your grades will if you don’t talk!” called Renjun in a singsong voice, as he was removing all the anime pins on his bag. Now Jaemin was more determined than ever to permanently disappear into the void.

 

“Renjun, are you sure this is okay?” asked a concerned Chenle.

 

“Believe me, this is mild. Once I blocked him because he wouldn’t stop adding me into his group chat about how great peaches were or something.” said an unbothered Renjun, already dropping his bag out the window.

 

“PEACHES ARE GREAT, OKAY?” yelled Jaemin through the wall. He could hear everything clearly because he and Jeno were still not talking. _Obviously._

 

“Last call, Jaemin! Start talking or your precious pins go down the drain! Well, maybe just into the trash, but whatever.” murmured Renjun.

 

“NO!”

 

At this, Jaemin shot up and threw himself at the door, undeniably falling to the floor a second later. This had Jeno mildly concerned. Jeno thought he looked like a bird who flew into a window and couldn’t help but laugh. Jaemin thought he was laughing at him and burst into tears. Jeno became  _really concerned_ , but at least Jaemin finally started talking.

 

“It’s just not fair!” Jaemin wailed.

 

“Um.. what’s not fair?” replied a very perplexed Jeno.

 

“You always look so.. _Stunning_. And I always look terrible around you. Last time, I literally tripped and dropped my whole lunch in front of you while you just _sat there_ and looked like a prince. I can’t believe that I basically just gave you a shower of napkins while you were _stripping and ohmygod your back muscles I can’t-”_ Jaemin spouted.

 

“Wait, so you’re saying you’re not okay because you always look _bad_ around me?”

 

“ _YES_ that’s  _exactly_ what I’m saying! You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen! In case you couldn’t tell already, I actually really like you! Would you have known that sometimes I _do_ look decent? Would you know that I know just about every anime there is? No, because I only look bad around you!” Jaemin exploded.

 

“But you’re actually so… cute.” Jeno mumbled. He was overwhelmed. Jaemin, cutest person ever, thought he was attractive? That sounded too good to be true, but Jeno was _ecstatic._ So much that if his heart were a bird it would be soaring. He was sure he could melt metal on his face by now, so if anybody ever needed a human furnace, they knew who to call.

 

Jaemin was astounded. Jeno, the one and only _Jeno,_ thought _he was cute?_ He must be dreaming. Jaemin started sputtering what seemed to be the beginnings of a sentence, but he ended up sounding more like a dying engine of a car. His face was blazing as well. When he replayed what Jeno had just said, he became flustered and his face became even more flushed than he ever thought possible.

 

On the opposite side of the door, Renjun and Chenle were listening intently, set on having their ship sail. This was definitely Renjun’s OTP, and if it sank, then so would the heart of Renjun’s inner fangirl.

 

“Um.. Jaemin, are you okay?” asked Jeno, concerned.

 

“Yes, I’m fine, this is great!” Jaemin spluttered back.

 

“Do you want to exchange numbers or something? I’m assuming you want to have a more private conversation, considering how Chenle and Renjun are probably listening at the door as we speak.”

 

“Ohmygosh I actually love you right now-” Jaemin started, before realizing what he just said.

 

A loud smack was heard from behind the door as Renjun and Chenle had accomplished their mission. _The little shits._ thought Jaemin.

 

“I mean I still did before but you know what I mean-”

 

“No, it’s fine.” said Jeno, cutting off both Jaemin and his anxious thoughts. Jeno pulled out his phone and opened up a new contact before handing it over to him. Jaemin input his number and contact info before saving it as just his name. He didn’t realize Jeno was frowning when he typed in his name. Jaemin was about to fish out his phone and do the same when he realized it was _still in his bag_.

 

“Oh. Um, my phone is in my bag soooooo how about you just text me to confirm?”

 

“Oh, sure! No problem!” responded Jeno. Wow, how did Jaemin ever get so lucky as to have someone this understanding?

 

Just then, the door burst open to reveal Renjun and Chenle in all their glory, strutting out.

 

“Finally! Why do you two only choose to get yourselves together in front of an audience?”

 

Jaemin blushed but Jeno had a bemused expression plastered on his face.

 

“What do you mean in front of an audience? Nobody saw anything.” said Jeno.

 

“Aha, operative word being _saw._ Just because there was no visible audience doesn’t mean we’re deaf, Jeno.” retorted Chenle, before turning to Renjun and giving him a high five.

 

 _I like this kid already,_ thought Renjun. _He knows what’s up._

 

At this, Jeno started looking a bit warm as well. Jaemin wanted nothing more than to bury his face in Jeno’s _toned chest_ but unfortunately that would just lead to more attention. He thought that he had improved with his character a bit; instead of wanting to hide his face in a _cave_ for the next fifteen years, he now wanted to hide his face in someone else’s chest. As long as that someone was Jeno. Still improvement. Jaemin was proud of himself for a heartbeat before remembering why he wanted to disappear in the first place.

 

While Jaemin sorted through his thoughts, Jeno dealt with the unstoppable force of Renjun and Chenle’s combined voices.

 

“Jeno what are you doing, go collect your man!” came Renjun’s deafening scream. Jeno actually _fell to the ground_ at the volume of his voice.

 

“Yeah, stop being embarrassed, that’s Jaemin’s job, this is why he’s jobless!” Chenle added.

 

“Hey! I take offense to that, for the record; I am _not_ jobless.” Jaemin objected.

 

“Go before I smack you into the next century! You’re already a little bit too late as it is! Look at him, he’s feeling better now!” Renjun threatened, as Jeno was about to say something.

 

Jaemin then decided that he didn’t want to see his embarrassing second parents anymore, even though one of them was actually younger than himself. He snuck inside to grab his pins, then turned around and stole by the intense event that was taking place to retrieve his bag and homework. When Jaemin finally passed the small crowd he started _running._ But not before looking back at Jeno one last time. Only Jeno saw him leave, and he attempted to say something.

 

“Wait, come back here! If I have to deal with them, then so do you!”

 

Jaemin didn’t catch any of it.

 

The fearsome quartermasters stopped for a split second to look around for Jaemin, but he was nowhere to be found. Renjun snapped his head around to face Jeno.

 

“Look what you did! You made us take so long convincing you to go comfort him that he ran away!”

 

“What are the rest of you still doing here? Anime club is over!” roared Chenle.

 

The crowd that had gathered around Jeno, Chenle, and Renjun started to pack up and leave.

Eventually, Renjun and Chenle went back inside the classroom leaving Jeno alone to his thoughts for the first time in about fifteen minutes. Jeno had burned the image of Jaemin running away into his mind with only one thought:

 

_You run like an anime girl._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and for dealing with my inconsistent updates. If you're still here after waiting for a new chapter since the first every week, I love you and thanks for sticking around!  
> Come feel my saRANG:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


	6. bold of you to assume i can function even with my phone, let alone without it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI IM ALIVE  
> sorry for not updating for like 4306256845089752087 years. I had writer's block, then got caught up with school, then had writer's block AGAIN, then lost motivation to continue before doing something about it. Anyways, I'll actively try to post more consistently from now. Also I'm really sorry if there are any mistakes in the writing, I just proof read it myself. I would definitely like to have a beta reader, but I feel like they would give up on me and I would feel bad for being so inactive :))))

Jaemin found his backpack in a small puddle outside of the school. Did Renjun actually have psychic powers or something? He managed to drop it into the one puddle present. The bottom of his bag was already sodden, and Jaemin prayed that his homework wasn’t soaking wet. 

 

After retrieving his backpack, Jaemin just kept running and running; he ran until he collapsed in front of his house. He thought his heart was going to burst, although he wasn’t sure whether it was from running or from Jeno calling him cute.

 

_ He called me cute. _

 

That was the only thought blowing through Jaemin’s mind. He could tell it was going to be there for a while. He stayed there on the floor for a bit, before picking himself up and going inside before anybody  _ else  _ could find him in this state. He had already gotten quite a few side eyes from passing drivers and a few neighbors.

 

Jaemin walked to the dining room table, where he always did his homework. He went to start his homework, pulling it out of his bag before noticing something at the bottom of his bag. His phone. Cracked. He groaned so loud that his brother told him to “shut your pie hole before I do!” 

How supportive. He tried turning it on but the screen remained black. Jaemin became quite puzzled before remembering that he found his phone at the very bottom of his bag, which meant that it was most likely waterlogged. Which meant that he couldn’t text Jeno. 

 

He sincerely hoped that Jeno would understand.  _ He called me cute.  _ That meant he wouldn’t be too upset, right? Jaemin hoped so. He returned his attention back to his homework, feeling a little bit vulnerable. He made a noise but continued to focus on his work. He wasn’t sure what to feel anymore. He gave a cry of defeat, which prompted his brother to come downstairs. His brother, Taeyong, had his life together which made Jaemin a little bit jealous, but mostly hopeful. 

 

“Jaemin, what’s wrong?”

 

He gave his brother a crushed look before groaned and letting his head drop onto the table. He ended up miscalculating how hard he dropped his head and a loud  _ bump _ was heard.

 

“Ow”, he said before deciding to be a bit edgy. “My life.”

 

“Whoa there edgelord, take it down a notch. Care to elaborate?” asked Taeyong, who was quite confused.

 

“My phone got waterlogged.”

 

“So what? Put it in rice.” Taeyong suggested with a shrug. “The rice will absorb the water and your phone will be fine. I don’t see a problem.”

 

“I  _ know _ , but isn’t there a faster way?”

 

Taeyong raised an eyebrow, visibly at a loss for words. Then, he took a closer look at Jaemin.  _ Shoulders slumped, wistful but sad look in the eyes, pouting- ah. Must be love. _

 

Playing along with Jaemin’s antics, he feigned ignorance. He didn’t want to force Jaemin to tell him, but he wanted to know the tea. Unfortunately, collecting information doesn’t come easy. Luckily, Taeyong could use his (questionable) older brother status to get what he wanted. He just had to use the right personality, which in this case would be the more experienced caring older brother. Taeyong mentally cackled.

 

“What’s wrong Jaemin? Your game’s daily login doesn’t reset until midnight; surely you can wait a few hours to collect your prize?”

 

Jaemin groaned internally. Then groaned externally, loud and dramatic, before turning to Taeyong and giving him a meaningful look. He hesitated before making up his mind.

 

“I have a..  _ friend  _ I want to talk to.” mumbled Jaemin.

 

_ Nailed it.  _

 

“Your friend can wait a few hours, if they’re really your friend they’ll understand what happened.”

 

“But what if they’re like,  _ more than a friend? _ ”

 

“Same thing applies; if you like someone you would understand whatever situation they might have with their phone. Dating is just approaching life with the buddy system; if your buddy sucks then get a new buddy. Simple.” Taeyong advised.

 

“I didn’t say I liked him!” shrieked Jaemin, clearly flustered.

 

“You’re not saying otherwise other.” came the reply. Jaemin could see a cheshire cat- no, a  _ shit-eating grin forming on his brother’s face. _ He then realized what happened and buried his face into the table and gave a muffled scream.

 

Taeyong just laughed, before turning to leave. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, he then gave Jaemin a very helpful reminder.

 

“Go throw your phone in some rice before it’s too late.” 

 

Jaemin screeched before attempting to throw his phone at Taeyong before he was kindly reminded that it was already cracked, thank you very much.

  
  


Jaemin continued his homework while he waited for his phone to recover. A few hours later, his phone was back to normal, minus the cracked screen. Or so he thought.  Excitedly, he watched the phone turn on. Not only was the screen cracked, he forgot he  _ didn’t actually have Jeno’s contact information. Great.  _ He then remembered that Jeno had his contact information. His hope returned as he opened his messages, looking for Jeno’s confirmation text. After a few minutes, he was starting to lose hope. He turned off the phone, waiting for it to turn back on from a notification. The screen remained black.

 

Finally, just as Jaemin was about to go find something else to do he got a notification. At the sound, he whipped his head up eagerly, only to find out it was from his game. He grumbled before deciding that he may as well log in to collect his daily game. 

 

Subsequently after tapping the game’s icon multiple times, the game opened up to reveal the loading page. Jaemin waited patiently for it to load, but all he got was a message saying his phone was not connected to the internet. He gave up.

 

_ Something out there is testing me, whether it be the universe or God.  _

 

“What did I do in my past life to deserve this punishment.” questioned Jaemin.

 

_ Past me must have been- no, definitely was, a real bitch.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading if you made it this far, tell me about your experience bc I need friends:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac
> 
> (I don't really use any of these except instagram whoops)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading!  
> Come yell at me across the internet:  
> Instagram: @_contradictionary_  
> Twitter: @NCTaengel  
> Tumblr: the_insomniac


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